broken

I did it again, I woke up and walked to KB when I didn't have lecture. Apparently my class this morning was cancelled a couple weeks ago, but I didn't check WebCT, so I didn't know. Then again, neither did half the class the showed up and sat in the lecture hall 5 minutes into what was supposed to be the lecture.

I am angry at myself for missing Aimee's 21st birthday dinner. Mostly I'm angry at myself that I haven't done the things that I've wanted to do while I am in Edinburgh and missing the dinner has just made me realize what I am doing. Over the summer when we were living together, we wanted to do a lot of travelling when we were here in Scotland and maybe leave the country for each of our 21st birthdays. I've done none of these things. I haven't left the country since getting to Scotland. Aimee was able to get away to Dublin one weekend while I was stuck here. I think I've made a massive mistake. I thought classes here would be relatively easy going, but some of this material is pretty hard and I have a lot of revising to do. I am really worried about my biochemistry class. I realized as I tried doing the work for the tutorial today, that I didn't know how to do most of it. What am I doing? What is wrong with me? I think that I've broken myself and I need to find some way to put myself back together before I actually have to sit for final exams.

If you haven't, wish Aimee a happy (if belated) 21st birthday. Loosen those inhibitions on alcohol (a bit)!